Comments on: A Deep Age Old Theological Question

By: Rob

Rob — Mon, 11 May 2009 06:40:16 +0000

I’ve got another Joel Osteen one.

Joel Osteen: All the other chickens crossing the road, they’re living their best life. You can cross the road too!

R.C. Sproul: The chicken didn’t actually cross the road. The farmer crossed for him, and imputed his crossing to the chicken.

Ecclesiastes: meaningless, meaningless, crossing the road is meaningless!

John 1: In the beginning there was the road. And the road was with the chicken, and the chicken was the road, because a mac truck ran over it. =(

By: Jason

Jason — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 20:14:13 +0000

Thomas Merton- “The chicken chose the ascetic monastic life of the contemplative, rather than the active life, therefore, the chicken has not seen a road in years, and neither does it need to, for only in not knowing the road can it truly know it.”

By: thoughtful

thoughtful — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 07:14:34 +0000

It is okay now.
I was driving down the road the other day in my Nissan Patrol and that pesky chicken stepped out and I ran over it.
So nothing left to worry about as it is definitely “Dead”.
I am sure I got the right one.

By: E. J. Irish

E. J. Irish — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 08:07:39 +0000

I’m not really most interested in what anyone says about the chicken, even in reading the Greek or Hebrew about the chicken as valuable as that can be at times. I’m not so interested in what we say about the chicken at church on the weekend. In moving away from the Laodicean age towards the Church of Get Real, questions regarding where the chicken might be or how it got there are of secondary importance. They are another distraction from the main event.

What matters most is that we have the spiritual courage to not chicken out regarding the chicken, and continue in our quest for what God is looking for from us regarding the chicken, and how that looks when practicing Monday-Friday faith. Mowing the lawn authentically for Jesus’ sake is just as blessed and has just as much reward as walking on water or raising the dead.

It might be more practical to focus on how the chicken can move us to a higher, deeper revelation of who God really is and into higher, deeper relationship with Him.

Only this kind of response will touch His heart so that He empowers us to stop the tendency to become legends in our own limited minds, denominations or renewal circles, and break out into the big, bad world to show His grace on our face. We need less talk about where the chicken is walking, less talk about the Gospel and the Renewal, and learn to actually walk the walk of a balanced Christian life. We need to cross the road!

The Big One, the global revival, can become an idol to those of us who long for renewal, which we put above the Lord Himself just like a new car or a big house can be an idol to the average American tempted to replace the Christian mission with the American dream.

We need to learn more about how to balance faithfulness in the mundane and humility in handling the profound. We need to learn how to wait without idols, not only as we wait for the second appearing of Messiah, but as we wait for “the big one”, the big renewal which has so long been prophesied.

By: David Miller

David Miller — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 17:31:48 +0000

Joseph Smith Jnr: And so it came to pass, I beheld the angel named Moroni, and from him I received the golden chicken.

By: chas351

chas351 — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 00:38:27 +0000

1 Timothy 1:1-4
1 Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ, by the commandment of God our Savior and the Lord Jesus Christ, our hope, 2 To Timothy, a true son in the faith: Grace, mercy, and peace from God our Father and Jesus Christ our Lord. 3 As I urged you when I went into Macedonia–remain in Ephesus that you may charge some that they teach no other doctrine, 4 nor give heed to fables and endless genealogies, which cause disputes rather than godly edification which is in faith.

2 Timothy 4:1-8
1 I charge you therefore before God and the Lord Jesus Christ, who will judge the living and the dead at* His appearing and His kingdom: 2 Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching. 3 For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; 4 and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables.

By: Mary B

Mary B — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 20:54:05 +0000

why did the chicken cross the road?

Oprah: to be as god.

…no wait that’s the new ager

…..no wait that’s the word of faith preachers

…..no wait that’s the serpent in the garden

…..no wait that’s Todd Bentley

By: Brian Robertson

Brian Robertson — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 20:30:09 +0000

Why did the chicken cross the road?

It was hot on the other side and he /she, the angel, didnt want a roasting!

Scottish presbyterian: there are 3 points to consider as the chicken crosses the road.

Scottish baptist: now there will be a full orange sauce with this duckling for dippin’

Scottish episcapalian:Turn to page 3 of the order of service and we will follow together the journey of the chicken crossing the road. i read the first line and the congregation should read the next…and so on.

Scottish emerging person:Why did the chicken cross the road good question let me reflect on that and get back to you.

ah yes I know to get to the labarynth station.

By: Elaine

Elaine — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 09:01:14 +0000

Thanks so much for the replys to my earlier comments. I too test the spirits against the written word. In the revival meetings I attended and have watched on TV, I have found them to be genuine. Here is my reasoning.
1. Does it glorify GOD? In scripture Jesus instructs us to heal the sick, deliver the captives, etc. I beleive they do that in the name of Jesus. I am not crazy about the package, but that is between them and GOD.
2. Do they beleive that Jesus is the son of God and came in the flesh? From the preaching they do.
3. Who does the healing? They say it is the Holy Spirit.
4. Does it edify and not tear down the body of Christ? They want to see people set free from all kinds of things and seem to have genuine compassion on them.
5. Do they show compassion and love to those who are outside the faith? They don’t require you to be a beleiver before they pray for you but encourge you to become one.
6. Are people being saved? I have seen them many times have alter calls where many came forward and gave their lives to Christ.
7. What kind of fruit are they producing? Do they use their platform to tear down others and promote themselves?
I have just observed them giving glory to GOD. Many are set free from addictions, sins, sickness, etc.
8. Can they document the healings? They are in the process of getting all the doctor proof from as many healings as they can. By the way Todd will be on Geraldo on Fox at 10:00 Saturday night. If you want a non biased interview I think you should watch.
Now, I haven’t quoted the scriptures I use to test the spirits here, but could give them to you if you like. I hope my comments haven’t offended anyone because I am instructed in the word to “Touch not my annointed, and do my prophets no harm” and I don’t know if any of you are annointed and prophets or not. Paul wrote that even the angels wouldn’t and would say “the Lord rebuke you devil”
GOD Bless you all and may you find HIS higher purpose for your lives.

By: Me

Me — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 00:18:19 +0000

I have to admit, I just about fell off my chair when I read the one about Joyner and the “demonic excrements…” Having read his blue coats grey coats “word” many years ago, it just hit my funny bone real hard.

By: Groovy Girl

Groovy Girl — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 23:32:11 +0000

I have been strugling with conviction also, over several things I’ve posted on this site. I NEVER want to be a stumbling block for someone else!

This site has been a real blessing to me. I have learned so much, made friends, and been able to ask questions and vent frustration. But my husband (after reading through this thread) reminded me that the unsaved read this too. So, although I LOVE to laugh, I will try to refrain from comments that could be contrued as mean-spirited.

God Bless!

By: servant

servant — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 20:16:59 +0000

I have always dealt with hard times by laughing. Especially triumphant laughter when looking back.

I think the chicken jokes are good for one specific reason among many. How many people look at these False Teachers, False Prophets, Mega Ministers and Ministries as giants??? How many people dare not question them and shake at the thought of “touching the annointed”?

Well, I laugh because the chicken joke shows me these Super Apostles and ministers are not as big as they would like everyone to think they are.

Give me a slingshot and a chicken!

By: Lee

Lee — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 16:57:23 +0000

Elizabeth A,

I have not been watching the goings-on; but, I can understand your feelings in watching the boy. I have an ex-stepson who is a highly functioning autistic. So sad…

By: Elizabeth A

Elizabeth A — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 09:15:01 +0000

Uh-oh. I’m feeling a division coming on between the repentant and the unrepentant!
I agree we should be careful, and not be a stumbling block etc. I admit I was a little wary of taking things too far (fine line and all that).
However, I do believe God has a sense of humour, else why did he create laughter? And it’s a coping mechanism for me as I shed many tears last night when I saw a boy with ‘Aspergers Syndrome’ (I have a son with High Functioning Autism) claiming to be healed in Lakeland.It made me physically sick.

By: Dave

Dave — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 23:35:36 +0000

Erik,
Gulp, same conviction here, I was likewise wrong. It’s fun to have a laugh, and some of us desperately need it with all the craziness and heaviness of the issues at hand, but let’s remember that we all answer to the Lord, and it would be good to spend time interceeding for those that are going the wrong way.

By: Matt

Matt — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 17:44:39 +0000

John Piper: The chicken crossed the road to display Christ’s supremacy in all things.

Evangelical Pastor: *Quotes John Piper*

Bill Johnson: The Chicken is perfect theology. Anything you can’t find in the life of the chicken you have reason to question.

William Branham: The Chicken is an occult doctrine.

John Crowder: oyn oyn oyn….. the Chicken was living in the realm of heavy drunken glooray

Benjamin Dunn: Wooooooah.. he he he, let’s go toke the Chicken.

Benjamin Dunn: He was on his way to a Holy Ghost house party.

The Beatles: Were bigger than the Chicken.

John Wimber: He was doin’ the stuff.

Prophetic Musician: Release the sound of the Chicken crossing the road. Release the sound…. Oh, release the sound.

Bill Johnson: I can’t afford to think a thought that’s not the Chicken’s.

Patricia King : So Bob Jones and Todd and I sat in this restaurant, and we held hands… and as we ascended to the third heaven, I smelled vanilla, and saw a faint light. Bob says to me “Do you see that light?” and I realized I saw the same light as he did!!!!!!!! It was the great chicken. It had a blue flame around it, and was surrounded by jewels, gold dust, and many many angel feathers. I realized then that this was the chicken healing anointing. Glorrrry.

By: Cindy

Cindy — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 16:32:06 +0000

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Kenneth Copeland: The Lord spoke to me one night and told me that if I had known scripture like that chicken, I could have been the one to cross that road. It was just a redeemed chicken that defeated that road. That near blew my mind…

By: Cindy

Cindy — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 16:28:27 +0000

Elaine: Your inability to appreciate a little humour and sarcasm puzzles me since your first post clearly started with your own version of such with “Thank God for people like you…” which was clearly very sarcastic as the remainder of the post demonstrates.

Also, there’s something I’ve always wanted to ask people like you, if, as you say, “GOD is a big boy and can defend himself” and it’s not then our place to defend the things of God, what exactly brought you here to this website and compelled you to put your 2 cents worth in and defend the so called revival at Lakeland. Why does the same rational not apply to you? Bit of a double standard don’t you think… That is, if you’re allowed to think without it interfering with your “discernment”.

As one who has been previously caught up in a lot of things that I now know to be totally against scripture, I am thankful for this website bringing these things to our attention and contending for the faith amongst a church that is largely swept away with every wind of doctrine and false prophet and wolf in sheeps clothing that arises in its midst.

By: Erik

Erik — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 16:08:57 +0000

I’m not here to do the chicken jokes now like I have been in these comments. I come here to repent of this because I felt in my spirit it wasn’t right. The Lord convicted me. I did not set a good example for others. It reminded me in scripture of what Apostle Paul wrote to Titus in Titus 2:6-8,

“Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and SOUNDNESS OF SPEECH that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.” (emphasis mine)

I know the chicken jokes are funny and it’s nice to have a laugh amid all the seriousness. But let’s not lose our saltiness over a few jokes. This blog’s purpose is to warn others the dangers of false teachings and doctrines that’s been going on now that are deceiving our own. We are at war, a very serious war over the souls of our brothers and sisters who are being led astray by these lying and deceiving demonic spirits.

So, I ask for forgiveness for making these jokes that does not edify anyone. I was wrong.

God bless.

By: Andy

Andy — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 16:03:46 +0000

Elaine,

I think there are some reasons why your earlier comment (#23) was totally ignored in this post.

First of all, this is one of the few posts on this blog that allows for a little bit of levity. Since the issues we find ourselves dealing with here are so important and worry us so much, it’s good for us to get a little off our chests in the form of humor sometimes.

Secondly, everything you said in that post has been hashed and rehashed so many times in dealing with this supposed revival that we just kind of get tired of replying to the same ignorant remarks by some drive by poster. (When I use the word ignorant – I mean it in the lack of knowledge sense, not in any way to demean your character)

Thirdly, most of the problems with Todd Bentley (not all, but most) have to do with what HE SAYS and what he teaches. In the bible (written by the Holy Spirit) we are told to test the spirits. In your post, you told us to go against the Holy Spirit’s teaching and NOT to test the spirits. Is that what you call the gift of discernment?, urging other Christians NOT to do what the Holy Spirit tells us to do in scripture.

I mean, you SAY you ‘felt’ the Holy Spirit in Lakeland, but then you post here instructing other Christians to ignore the Holy Spirit’s teaching in God’s Word. If you able to deny and contradict the Holy Spirit’s teaching, then how are we to be able to take your word that you ‘felt’ him in Lakeland.

And you see, this is just like the problem we have with what’s going on in Florida. There are these massive claims (unsabstaniated, mostly) of what the Holy Spirit is doing there, but yet virtually all the teaching that goes on there denies, perverts, and flat out contradicts that very same Holy Spirit’s teaching in God’s revealed Word.

Elaine, (and I think I speak for most of us here), we can and will discuss what is going on in Lakeland with you. But, and this is a big BUT, if our standard and your standard is not the Word of God, then it’s a futile exercise. Please feel free to join us in biblically discerning the true from the false, as the Holy Spirit (the same One who is supposed in Lakeland) commands us to do.

By: Dave

Dave — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 15:44:41 +0000

Elaine,
This is a welcome break from all of the weeping I have been doing lately over the deception and foolishness that has been unleashed of late. Call it what you want, people are making fun of the ridiculous things people say, not the people themselves. Laughter works good like a medicine.

By: Melissa

Melissa — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 13:48:41 +0000

This was the funniest thing ever to read after reading all this heavy stuff on Todd Bentley the false prophet bearing the demonic spirit of kundalini!!!!!! I’m from South Australia and this thing is getting promoted all over the world!!! God help anyone who gets imparted with this evil spirit!!! I’m glad though to see many people on the internet in other countries realising how horrible and violent these “healings” and “anointings” are!!!! I cried in grief and horror when I saw that youtube of Todd Bentley gleefully telling the laughing crowd how God apparently told him to bash people up. All I have to say is – God has us!!! Well done End times prophetic words team!!!!

By: Elizabeth A

Elizabeth A — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 12:24:20 +0000

Remamber is really remember in chicken Lickens accent.

By: Elizabeth A

Elizabeth A — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 12:23:25 +0000

Been pondering on the Chicken. Anyone remamber the story of Chicken Licken (‘the sky is fallin’)?
Sort of makes me think of ‘open heaven’ and ‘portals’!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Scotty of the Starship Enterprise: to get to the transporter room.

By: Elizabeth A

Elizabeth A — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 12:17:51 +0000

Or was that to Daniel? Ah well. Anyway, I’m sure all you bible scholars will put me straight on that one.